tears

tonight, i cried. in bed, in darkness.

sometimes i wonder what is meant to be a human, and why we are here, and what we are really suppose to do in this world. when i looked around the friends i grew up with, they are married, had kids, it seems very clear in their mind that all their hope is with the kid. sometimes i wonder, is this meant to be a human? i am single, i am not married, and i dont have kid, so what am i suppose to do?

i looked back at all of these great people in the world, they work hard, and they fight for what they believe ..... often when i think of them, tears would be running down my cheeks, and i started asking myself: jeremy, what do you believe?

i think i am terribly missing my parents.... i called my dad the other day, he said, give a call to your mum, she was thinking of you laterly.... i really dont think i have been a good son at all ..... now i am crying worse.

we born, we grow, we mature, we age, we die. where am i? and what have i done?

I wish I can do great things, just like these great people. I wish I could be with my parents so I can look after them, so they would not miss me too much and I can see them easily. I wish I could get married and have kids and have an ordinary life just like everyone else. I wish I had a belief, so I can thrive on it. I wish there are no boundries between you and me, so we can talk to each other more easily......

Now I am just being stupid. Go to bed and stop writing.